Is he on academic probation?

The following is a parody.While the content and criticism ofthis article is based on actual commentsmade by President GeorgeBush in the State of the Union Address,the actual documents representedin this article are false.There are also commentsmade by other people that areadded to reinforce the points madein this column. Proper referenceshave been made when deemednecessary. All quotes from thePresident in this column weremade during the State of the UnionAddress.All of the opinions expressedin this article are those solely ofthe writer. The views expressedhere are not necessarily those ofthe paper.In a good bit of investigativereporting, if I do say so myself, Ihave uncovered President Bush’sold report cards from college withgrades and even comments fromhis teachers. While some of thisis shocking, as a responsible journalistI felt the need to share withall of you his old grades. Pleaseremember that the truth is oftenstranger than fiction.Economics:While George appears to beenthusiastic about the idea of involvinginvolvinghimself in studying them,he seems to have the inability tocomprehend one of the most basicconcepts of economics: theidea that when you spend moneyyou will need to supplement itfrom another source or else youare going to end up in debt.He debated that if only ourgovernment would spend moremoney and make the taxpayerspay less in taxes, it would leadtowards a road of economic recovery.When challenged on howour government would be able toimprove public schools andhealthcare with limitedmoney, he wasunable to respond.To improve, George needs tostart focusing on hiswork. If he starts reading his economics book and he focusingon the numbers, he will be ableto have some factsto validate his opinions.Grade: D-International Relations:During a simulation in which studentsrepresented countries all aroundthe world, George represented theUnited States and I was shocked to see how he was able toalienate almost every country in theworld … even his allies. He made broadgeneralizations about othercountries he knows little to nothingabout and he is so focusedon continuing war that he neverconsiders how he can stop war.During the simulation, heengaged in a war with one countrywhile simultaneously threateningother countries. In aspeech to the class he referredto certain countries as an “axisof evil” and says “the UnitedStates of America will not permitthe world’s most dangerousregimes to threaten us with theworld’s most destructive weapons.”Yet he refuses to see howthe United States and its continuedbuildup of weaponsthreatens other countries.However, George hasshown a continued support ofIsrael and its people, which isadmirable. Grade: D+Civil Liberties in America:From George’s essays andpersonal talks that I have had withhim, I am worried that he feels civilliberties are something that thegovernment can take away fromthe American people whenever itis convenient.I posed the following scenario:America was attacked andthe attackers were in the countrylegally. I asked George how hewould prevent that from happeningagain.He talked about how hewould allow secret military trials,give the FBI the ability to spyon anybody they wised, and stopanybody who looked suspicious.These ideas are reminiscent ofMcCarthyism and we all knowhow badly that turned out. Inone paper he wrote, “No peopleon earth yearn to be oppressed,or aspire to servitude, or eagerlyawait the midnight knock of thesecret police.”George, however, seemscontent to allow all this to happenin America. I am worriedthat if ever put in a position ofreal power George would do hisutmost to abandon the constitutionand the rights the Americanpeople are given by thatdocument. Grade: F-Advisor Comments:Overall, George is yourdefinition of an “average” student.He gets okay grades andputs in the minimal amount ofstudy time. To be successful,George needs to study more,but he also needs to improvethe people he keeps companywith. If he starts making ideasof his own he will be fine. Ifnot, God help us all.