I wish I were a cartoon character. Like Bugs Bunny or Mickey Mouse.Think about it. The possibilities of what you could do with a gift like that are endless. I wouldn’t feel pain, or at least only temporarily. I could pull just about anything out of my pants whenever I wanted to. The laws of physics wouldn’t apply to me. But by far the coolest thing about this would be that anything I did would be considered funny by those around me.
I really like the idea of pulling things out of my pants. If one of my friends was feeling down, I could pull out a baseball bat and bash myself over the head with it. That makes everyone happy.. Or I could have a constant supply of signs accessible at any time for whenever they were necessary., especially when falling off the edge of a cliff. I could hold up a sign that says: “Yipe!” Let’s not forget about anvils either. Anvils are always funny, no matter what. Dynamite too.
Being able to walk on air would be fun. Just don’t look down, then there’s no worry about falling. That’s one of the best things about being a cartoon, as long as you don’t realize that you’re in any kind of danger, then you’re not. A giant blood-sucking monster could be creeping up behind me right now, but as long as I don’t turn around, it can’t attack me. Or the roof could be collapsing above me… I think you get the point.
But the laws of entertainment must always come crashing down, much like the ceiling. So eventually I would have to look down, turn around, or look up, sealing my doom. The laws of humor would always conquer in the end, especially when those of reality can’t.
But being able to make people happy is the main reason why this is so appealing. No one can get mad at a cartoon, or at least no one can stay mad at a cartoon, and so I could do anything I wanted and everyone would love me for it. Hitting people in the face with pies, kiss whomever I wanted (big and sloppy too) without having to worry about sexual harassment charges and restraining orders, oh the potential. Also, my words wouldn’t hurt people’s feelings. My outlandish,sarcastic sense of humor would only bring giggles and grins rather than the dirty looks and condescending tones that I get now.
I think I would make a good cartoon. Asa is a weird name, I have crazy hair, and an overly enthusiastic attitude. I could totally do this. I deserve this. But alas, reality has a stronger hold on me than it should. Maybe I’ll get lucky and heaven will be a cartoon land. What better eternal joy then being forever entertaining and entertained. Makes sense to me. Now all I gotta do is get there…