I still have more to say about this smoking issue.
Many people have taken it upon themselves to point out to me that there was a survey/vote taken one day in Founders that polled what students thought about the newest smoking policy.
I remember this poll. I even took the damn thing.
But my qualms with the vote run a lot deeper than the simple fact that it didn’t turn out results that I would have desired. No, my problem with the vote is that whoever decided to put it on didn’t consider one basic fact about smokers. We don’t like taking polls.
In fact, I have found that it is sort of a universal rule for smokers that we don’t really like doing anything. Hell, I don’t even like leaving my room unless I have to. We’re all too focused on smoking.
Also, I don’t recall this vote being very well advertised. It was just a couple people sitting in Founders with a stack of papers encouraging me to check one box or the other. There are people in Founders doing that exact same thing for one cause or another practically every day. Usually, I just try my hardest to tune them out, but every once in a while someone will jump in front of me and corner me into signing their sheet of paper. This smoker’s poll was one of the lucky ones that managed to attack my attention.
Okay, but enough about that. Let’s talk about something else.
Do any of you remember hearing about the residence hall at Warren Wilson that burned down? Apparently some moron threw a lit cigarette into a recycling bin. The dorm was burned entirely to the ground. Fortunately no one was hurt, but everyone living in the dorm lost all of their physical possessions.
This is quite a shame, and I feel for all those students. But the event got me thinking. Heroism is dead here in America.
Keep with me, this is going to get good.
You see, a lit cigarette in a recycling bin doesn’t seem like a very big thing initially, right? It would just catch to a few things, start smoldering, and set off the smoke detectors. Of course all of the smoke detectors around that specific bin are linking to a system throughout the entire dorm and when one goes off they all go off, which leads to the entire building being evacuated.
But how heroism factors into this is quite simple actually, someone could have quite easily (and rather unheroically) grabbed a bucket full of water and thrown it on the smoldering bin, solving the problem. But instead, the entire dorm is evacuated and the fire department is called.
And in the time that it took the firemen to show up to the scene, the dorm was already fully ablaze. Everyone loses everything.
And all of this because of some irresponsible smoker who didn’t have the common sense to simply extinguish his cigarette in a more safety appropriate location than a recycling bin.
Man, I hate smokers so much! They’re so obnoxious! If it hadn’t been for those reckless walking cancer factories, heroism in America wouldn’t be at risk.
Wait a second … Okay, ignore everything I just said.
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Notes from the Underground: Asa’s smokin’!
Asa Fager
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April 18, 2003
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