“I’ve never seen her laugh so much,” said senior Cheyenne Hill.
The “she” was English professor Carolyn Beard Whitlow, and she was laughing at herself as she tried to read from Fox in Sox to a hysterical audience.
“You don’t pay me enough to do this,” she said between giggles.
Last Wednesday, Guilford saw its first-ever Fall Faculty Staff Student Follies. Abbreviated FFSSF and pronounced “fuh fuh suh suh fuh,” the Follies were a big hit.
Math professor Jon Hatch headed a committee consisting of sophomore Chris Wells, CCE student Kimberly Jerrell Brann, geology professor Dave Dobson, alternative learning specialist Kim Sellick, and library associate Kate Hood. Together, they rounded up faculty and students willing to go out of their way to entertain those looking for laughs.
There were plenty to be found.
“It was a good showcase of the comedic talent at Guilford,” said junior Susan Rahmsdorff, who read a poem and acted as scorekeeper for the final act – which involved shoving whipped cream pies in faculty members’ faces.
Beard Whitlow and President Kent Chabotar opened the Follies with a reading of Dr. Suess’ classic Fox in Sox.
Later, Dobson created the anagram “Inbred Catastrophe” from the words “President Chabotar.” The three-hour event contained these and many other giggle-inducing acts.
“I really enjoyed the cats singing,” said Nick Divitci, former management professor and husband of Follies-performer Charlotte Divitci. “I’d seen Grace do it before and I asked if she’d do it [for this].”
He was referring to an act early in the evening when music professors Grace Johnson and Jay Rollins, accompanied by Tim Lindeman, performed a musical number consisting entirely of the word “meow” – and one “purr” – while wearing cat ears.
Audience members helped Early College President Tony Burks keep time as he whistled some American jazz and they screamed for blood during the final act of the night, a game of “Stump the Chump.”
In that act, faculty members Will Pizio, Dave Limburg, Dave Dobson, Steve Shapiro, Stephanie Drozdo, and Jon Hatch competed to win an apple pie baked by junior Annie Erbsen. At the end of each round, the person with the lowest score received a pie in the face.
They were asked questions in their self-proclaimed fields of expertise ranging from The Simpsons and Monty Python to baseball, video games, and rock music.
Hatch won the apple pie by attributing this quote to former Vice President Dan Quayle:
“Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here.”
The fun was, indeed, right there on Wednesday night.
If you missed the Follies, Mr. Divitci taped the entire event. Copies will be available to those who make donations to his favorite charity, the Greensboro Peace Coalition.