Perhaps the most promising band in the next generation of Guilford Rock is the newly formed Kirk’s Fogg. These three first-years stand poised to revolutionize the scene that spawned them with their artful blend of ambition, Pixies covers, and vivacious pennywhistle. They have only been performing for the few weeks since they bought a drum set, but they have been playing together since meeting in their F.Y.E, World Politics and Culture in Film.

The lanky Brett McDonough brings his flannel shirts and mastery of the jaw harp; the charismatic Tristan Winkler pens enigmatic lyrics colored by his lonely childhood; and the fetching redhead Colette Cosner plays the guitar while wearing very tall socks.

Last Thursday, I had the privilege of sitting down with Kirk’s Fogg in the midst of their hectic practice and academic schedules. Surrounded by instruments in their usual practice space- a spacious single room in Milner Hall- they told me about their history, future plans and, most importantly, their music.

First of all, how would you describe your music?

Cosner: Pseudo-alternative-barbershop-surf-

Winkler: Baroque.

And what are your musical influences?

McDonough: I’d say, most of all, Captain Beefheart and his Magic Band.

W: Adgencore.

C: Well, a little Raffi, actually.

M: What was it?
(He picks up his guitar and strums a few familiar chords, then sings impassionedly)
Peanut, peanut butter – and jelly! Oh yeah, that song. Yeah.

You named your band after Kirk Fogg, host of Nickelodeon’s 1993 game show, Legends of the Hidden Temple. Has he heard your music?

W: He’s dead.

M: He got jungle fever and ended up feeding himself to this giant statue, Olmec.

That’s tragic! But on a different note, what are your most immediate musical goals?

W: We’re not going to lie; we’re in it for the money.

M: We had a meeting and decided “Music? Pbbbst.”

C: In fact, I don’t even really know how to play this guitar.

M: We just needed a girl to, you know, spice things up.

That does bring up a good point. Colette, how do you feel about playing in an overwhelmingly male band?

C: I don’t really like other girls. I kind of feel like women should be in the kitchen. Except for me, ’cause I should be in this band.

What musical accomplishment are you proudest of, then?

M: We broke a drum stick the other day; that was pretty damn exciting. ‘Flew all the way over the bed.

C: Oh! I learned the D-Chord! Remember that, the other day, I learned D?

W: That was awesome.

C: I can play, wait, here, I can do it …
(She strums, biting her lip in concentration)
Every time I do it, I feel like I’m improving as a musician. ‘Cause I can do it at a bunch of different speeds like: D- D- D- D- D- or D — D—- D—–

M: And that’s why we have Colette! That versatility, right there.

C: I might write a song with D.

And where do you see yourselves, individually, in ten years?

C: I was thinking about maybe actually going solo – sorry guys – solo career for a while. Maybe doing some more, you know, songs with D. The Album of D.

W: Yeah, we’ve had trouble fitting that in.

M: You know what? Forget this.
(He stands and storms from the room, slamming the door behind him)

C: The band can’t break up now!

W: (Throwing up his hands with resignation) I just drum. It doesn’t matter who plays.

Sensing tension, I decided to cut the interview short. Luckily, Kirk’s Fogg reunited later that night, and is planning their next performance. If they can weather rigorous academics, their own egos, and the three-month summer sabbatical, Kirk’s Fogg will be captivating modest crowds until they graduate.

“Bands like Kirk’s Fogg highlight Guilford’s achievement in the field of college rock,” says President and Professor of Political Science Kent Chabotar. “I’m actually wearing one of their t-shirts under my blazer right now. Students like these really make Guilford a unique and special place.