This year’s housing process is well-likened to a County Fair’s pig scramble, or perhaps the greased-up, deaf guy that the Family Guy characters can never catch. Many students are dissatisfied with their housing assignments this year, and I am one of them here to represent the lot. Now I admit that assigning housing is easier said than done and must be frustrating beyond my imagination; however, there are a handful of paradoxes which, if reversed, would make things much more smoothly.

To begin with, when the process of registration began, we were told you could not apply to both the apartments and Bryan hall. Then, to our dismay, after being rejected from the apartments, we were given a single day to rally seven fellow students to form a suite in Bryan, or be stuck in English hall (for the men).

The administration decided that both Binford hall and Milner hall were to become all first-year dorms; and so I ask, why were returning students, like myself, left with one day to register for our only other options instead of having back-up options? I could have easily organized a suite of friends and had all the paperwork done for Campus Life if I had been given that option ahead of time.

Secondly, a major fault in the system comes with the requirements for two very large housing options. The only students eligible for off-campus housing, aside from those who live within 50 miles of the school and wish to live at home, are those with a minimum of 88 credits and who are over the age of 21. By those standards, seniors and the occasional junior are the only students with that option, but they are the same students who get first dibs at the apartments.

With a shortage of housing, it is absurd that two large housing options are left to a small portion of the student body. In addition, according to a new school policy, students receiving scholarships will lose 25 percent of their scholarship funds if they live off campus. Thus, many students are moving back onto campus, minimizing the effectiveness of the off-campus housing option.

Another thing I’ve wondered in the craziness that is the housing process is why first-years just above acceptance level are not assigned to live in quiet dorms. With the concern of a low retention rate, wouldn’t you put the incoming first-years with the lowest grades in dorms with less distractions and stricter rules? The limitations assumed with a quiet dorm are much more suited to students whose success is questionable than to students who have had a year to acclimate themselves to college life.

As one of many who are being forced to live in a quiet dorm, I am quite interested as to whether or not the noise restriction will remain intact, or if we will say no and promote a policy change.

It doesn’t make sense to me: increased numbers of students with limited housing space, qualifications restricting two large housing options to a small group of students, contradictory registration processes and confining returning students to single-sex dorms, while suffering low retention rates.

The process was a hassle not just for students, but administrators as well. I know we’ll get through it and things will work out, but I also know there has been and will be a great deal of complaining, blame throwing and unneeded clashing of interests with this year’s housing process.

One friend described the aggravating situation best when he told me, “I’ll just live in my car!