You’ve seen the chalk graffiti all over campus, the posters, the fliers, and the ads in the paper, and you’re wondering what the hell is What the Hell Con? Where did it come from and from whose (or what’s) fatal loins did it spring? For those gentle readers not in the know, a Con is a convention, generally one held to celebrate a specific geeky interest including, but not limited to, anime, comics or role-playing games (RPGs).

The origins of Guilford’s WTH Con are shrouded in myth. As rumor has it, a large brown paper Kroger’s bag filled with unmarked VHS tapes was bequeathed to several members of the Yachting Club by persons unknown, with the addendum ‘Get rid of this for the love of god.’ The story could have ended there but, adventurous lads that they were, the ending is a bit more sanguine than that.

“It turned out there were a lot of real bad movies in that bag. Hentai, Japanese animated porn basically. Real terrible stuff,” said Sylvia Toth, vice president of the Yachting Club. “After watching about half a bags worth of VHS, one of the guys said: ‘What the hell, we could make a con out of this.’ Over the years we’ve put more funding into it, and it’s turned into an actual convention.”

And lo, a tradition was born.

At first, the Crap-A-Thon was the only event, an annual review of the original crappy material, but as the years progressed, events such as the Geek Auction, RPGs, a gaming room and Daikaiju battles were added.

“Imagine something like Godzilla vs. King Kong but substituting larger members of the Yachting Club for the legendary beasts,” said Yachting Club president Dani Moran.

“We set up lots of cardboard boxes and make a fake town. Then we have lots of large guys, so they get in there, mix it up a bit, and throw each other around.”

But it is the Con’s special guests that really started to pull WTH Con out of relative obscurity.

“We started out making fun of cons, being silly about it, mimicking the things cons do, but in an intentionally sloppy way,” said assistant professor of mathematics Jon Hatch, former Guilford student, Yachting Club member and self-described loser-geek. “Then one year we somehow managed to get real guests. Now people come in from out of town to attend.”

For this year’s WTH Con, the Yachting Club upped the ante and tried to bring in Mark Hamill of Star Wars fame as a guest. Unfortunately, negotiations stalled out when the issue of money was raised by Hamill’s agent. Upon hearing the Yachting Club’s generous offer, the agent’s exact words were, “Mr. Hamill doesn’t get out of bed for less then $100,000 dollars.” Negotiations ended thereabouts.

While Hamill’s price could be confused with the GNP of Angola, other guests have been more reasonable. Mike Nelson of “Mystery Science Theatre 3,000” was a guest in 2005, and this year Greg Stolze, a novelist and creator and writer of several RPGs including “Unknown Armies,” graced the Con with his presence. Between the two, and the multiple web-comic artists and cartoonists, WTH Con has been edging into the realm of an actual con.

Other aspects of the Con have expanded over the years. The Geek Auction and subsequent Geek Dance have evolved from literal nickel-and-dime bids to a full-fledged auction with paddles and fat wads of cash. Last year a pair of young men dressed as Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter made out on stage and, after a frenzied bidding war, went for 100 bucks (all of which is donated to charity). Then comes the Geek Dance.

“It was all these geeky guys who were super awkward, and wouldn’t touch girls. You know the stereotype,” said Hatch. “It was funny; sometimes it got ugly watching a bunch of geeks trying to dance. Then they all started taking dance lessons.”

Also new this year was a pro-wrestling room, a room for dealers of comics and anime and fire-dancing outside Dana Auditorium.