I’ll never be able to say “shirts versus skins” again without shuddering.

SkinBag fashion, a clothing line made of synthetic skin, offers custom-designed with a variety of textures and creases to heighten their organic feel. They even come with pimples, liverspots, and wrinkles, if you so desire. Now I can finally realize my dreams of owning a jacket with acne scars! I can turn the trauma of middle school into a fashion statement! Take that, establishment!

Olivier Goulet, a French artist, developed this macabre attire. The clothing is supposed to provoke reactions, and it achieves that purpose flawlessly. One look had me staring in a mixture of curiosity and (mostly) disgust. Kind of like how I look at an emo kid. I bet if they started buying SkinBag stuff, they could slit their sleeves instead of their wrists, but I digress.

Of course, this means that people who buy into this are attention whores. Why else would you spend 600 euros on such an ugly jacket? Goulet touts it as “a symbolic step towards the fusion of digital technology and organic matter, which will become a necessity for the survival of our conscience.” I don’t think he listens to himself talk, since I have yet to see any apparent correlation between wearing normal clothes and the degradation of my morals. Is carrying a wrinkly purse going to open my eyes to my withered conscience?

I’m not sure how much I buy into his loopy philosophy, especially since the SkinBag website refers to its products as though they are living . things. I suppose that’s fair, given that owners have to maintain their products properly, or the “skin” will stiffen, tan, and flake. It’s won’t be long before animal-rights activists start protesting when owners throw away their crusty skin outfits.
On the bright side, now you can look like you just skinned someone to make a jacket, thus earning you the unenviable nickname of “Leatherface” at parties.