You’ve heard it and so have I, “Just be yourself!” But today, Elisabeth Motsinger, a CCE student, told me that author and journalist Mignon McLaughlin said, “Do not be yourself, be someone a little nicer!” Isn’t that great? If everyone got up everyday and decided not to be ourselves, but be just a bit nicer, I think things here at Guilford, Greensboro and quite possibly the world, would be just a little bit better.

If you spend five minutes with Motsinger, you will hear more than just that tidbit of wisdom. I met Motsinger during the fall semester in our feminist theology class. At the end of the semester, Motsinger and I, along with two other women, led the class in a closing ritual that reflected some of the things we had learned about feminist theologies.

During the ritual, we gave out scrap pieces of paper. We asked everyone to write down one word or phrase that would describe something they had learned about themselves that they would like to change. We placed the pieces of paper into a pottery bowl and then burned them. The burning of the paper symbolized our ability to grow, to be different and to move past obstacles.

I don’t know what anyone else wrote, but I wrote down “judgment” because I saw how much easier Motsinger’s life is because she just lets people be. Be who they are or be who they aren’t.

Even though the fall semester wasn’t that long ago, I hadn’t really given too much thought about what I had written in that final ritual until recently when I spent some time with Motsinger. I realized, I’m still judging!

What am I judging?

Your excuses when you come to class and aren’t prepared. My first reaction is to give you a rundown of what I went through in a day and night to get my work done.
Your aspirations to get rich instead of a willingness to live simply.

Watching you run to the mailbox to get the next issue of Entertainment Weekly.

Reality TV.

There it is – my short list from the last 30 minutes.

I’ve written down “judgment” and I’ve ritualistically recognized it as a fault, but Motsinger is the one who helped me to see my judgments don’t really hurt you. I’m the one who ends up suffering.

I hope you get to meet Elisabeth Motsinger and see what I mean, and whether you take feminist theology or not, maybe a little bit of ritual will help you recognize how you could be a little bit nicer.

So, I’ve decided that if you have a laundry list of excuses, love money and Entertainment Weekly, then that’s OK. I might have to laugh when you know more about Johnny Depp than you do about the person across the hall, the room or the street – but hey, that’s who you are and I am really trying to be someone a little bit nicer!