Students and staff were shocked to find a reemergence of the incidents in the third floor male bathroom in Milner. “I went in, just trying to get showered and ready for the day, and I couldn’t believe what I saw,” said one freshman male. “It was all over the walls, in the showers, everywhere.”

The walls of the bathroom were indeed thoroughly smeared-with hope. Several messages were scrawled into the matter, including most of the catchphrases and slogans from the Barack Obama presidential campaign.

An alleged perpetrator of the audacious attack on the traditional behavior of the third floor men, agreed to comment on the condition of anonymity.

“The guys and I were just sort of fed up with the way people think of us here in Milner, and we’re tired of the administration trying to keep us all down,” he said. “So the only logical choice was for all of us to get together, take our collective hope, and spread the stuff all over those walls.”

The administration is taking this matter very seriously.

“I understand that some of the Milner residents might be frustrated, but this is certainly a horrible way to go about it,” said Aaron Fetrow, dean of Campus Life, “Sure we’ve all wanted to smear some hope around at times. Hell, I could smear some hope right now, but it’s just not appropriate.”

President Kent Chabotar was on the scene and was equally distraught.

“I’ve had some experiences with hope-smearing in my day, but this is terrible,” As Chabotar was speaking, some strategically placed hope fell from the ceiling and landed on the shoulder of one of Chabotar’s pristine suits.

“You see this,” he exclaimed, “This hope-stain will never come out. Lord knows that I know.”

In addition to the hope smearing, there have allegedly been cups of unity left on the sinks and urinals.

While some see the merits in the poignant, but perhaps unsanitary, spreading of hope, other residents of Milner want people to know that not everyone agrees.

“As a male Milner resident, I just want people to know that hope, unity, and even that disgusting pile of peace left in the middle of the bathroom floor does not represent all of us,” said Joe Smith. “Their message of hope goes against everything I stand for as an elitist, as an ingrate, and most importantly, as a completely juvenile jackass.