It’s creepy and it’s gooky
Mysterious and spooky
It’s altogether ooky…What is it? Unfortunately, it’s not a new rendition of “The Addams Family” – but it is what’s coming out your nose and going down your throat if you have the Guilford Plague.

It seems that practically the whole campus is sick. I’m sure you have heard the coughs, the sneezes, the sniffles, and the worst – the whole continuous nose blowing throughout your entire class.

Last week one of my classes was interrupted about 20 times (well, maybe I’m exaggerating a little) in order to bless every sneeze. I know the sneezes can’t be helped, but my suggestion for the future is just to grant one blessing over the whole entire room at the start of each class.

After all the nose-blowing and sneeze-blessing, I decided it was time to find out what kind of funk has infiltrated our campus.

The best place to find the answers is the Student Health Center.

As I made my way down the steps into the basement of Founders, I was a little bit nervous.

Did I really want to go into a mass of people being treated for the plague? I had somehow managed to maintain my health and didn’t want to wade into an ocean of germs.

But in the true spirit of investigative journalism, I stepped into the health clinic without regard to the dangers that I might face.

One step, two steps, and on I went down a deserted hallway. I was getting closer. My heart rate increased.

I rounded the corner and to my surprise, I stepped into a deserted health clinic.

What I found instead of a mass of germs was a couple of clinic workers calmly filling out paperwork and answering the phone. Not one germ-infested student was to be found.

I expressed my surprise at the empty room and believe from the looks on their faces, that for a moment the staff thought I might need a psychiatric evaluation. After I explained my purpose, they seemed to relax.

Helen Rice, director of student health, was willing to take a few moments to help answer some questions and even dispel some myths.

I told Rice that I had heard a rumor that the Health Clinic has given 300 strep tests.

Rice laughed and assured me that although there are probably 300 students who are sick, there has not been a strep scare.

The so-called Guilford Plague is really – drum roll, please – just the common cold.

Rice said that there is really no cause for alarm because the high number of students with colds happens every year at the beginning of fall term. She assured me that after fall break things will settle down.

Because students are coming from different places and bringing different germs, people get sick since they aren’t immune to those germs. Weather changes also contribute to problems; as well as stress, lack of exercise, and lack of adequate sleep.

Rice recommends taking pseudoephedrine and ibuprofen for cold symptoms.

Rice also offered some suggestions on how stay well (the parentheses are mine):

Bathe regularly (please!)
Wash hands regularly (let’s not be gross)
Clean door handle
Clean cell phones
Exercise
Eat properly (a candy bar at 2:00 am doesn’t count)
Don’t put pens/pencils in mouth (especially if you never wash your hands)
Wipe down computer
Wipe desks / tables with handi-wipe (cleaning seems to be a constant)
Take a multi-vitamin

Rice also suggests getting a flu shot.

On Nov. 6 the Health Clinic will be offering the shots for $27.00. Even though clinic services aren’t usually available to CCE students, they will be able to receive this shot. Appointments will be required, but Rice stated that more details would be available after fall break – so watch the Buzz.

As I left the clinic, I breathed a sigh of relief!

Guilford has not been infiltrated by a plague, there isn’t a strep epidemic, and there definitely won’t be a revival of “The Addams Family.