My 17-year-old daughter is failing chemistry and doesn’t care. In contrast, I am still trying to get over last semester’s three-one-hundredths of a point that caused me to get an A- rather than an A.There is something drastically wrong with this picture, but it is fact – no kidding.

The stark difference between my obsessive perfectionism and my daughter’s flippant attitude caused me to ask some questions at the dean’s list celebration on Jan. 27.

That night, I talked to some CCE students who posted dean’s list grades. Several told me that one of their motivations for excelling was to provide a good example for their children.

I didn’t have the heart to tell them that instead of my children looking to me as this great example, it gives them one more reason to call me names like, “freak,” “weird,” “show-off,” etc.

Debra Webb ’08 was one of those young moms at the celebration whose children serve as part of her motivation.

“I didn’t set out to make the Dean’s List,” said Webb, a five-time honoree.

“I just set out to do my best. Plus, I have two little girls and almost a little boy, and it is important to show them that even if you’re busy, it is important to do well.”

There were other similar comments, such as those of Linda Egidio, candidate for licensure in education studies.

“My goal is a 4.0,” said Egidio. “This is my second time through. The first time I didn’t take it seriously. Plus, I have two kids and I want to be a good example.”

Other motivations for making exceptional grades were mentioned, such as building self-confidence, proving to yourself that you can do it, and commitment to your goals.

Senior and five-time honoree, Terry Goddard, felt that receiving the honor reached beyond the academics and home life and into the workplace.

“Making the dean’s list shows a commitment to your actions and that you have completed a project with conviction and stick-to-itiveness,” said Goddard.

Goddard plans to pursue graduate school after Guilford and believes that her grades are an important aspect for that future aspiration, as well.

Goddard’s reasons were beginning to convince me that excelling was something more important than supposedly helping my children.

“I feel like this is an important time in my life and I need to do my best,” said junior psychology major Edwina Greene. “I didn’t come here to play. My dream is to finish college.”

I love dream talk and Greene’s seriousness about good grades fed my obsessive perfectionism.

But, first-year Casey Vandergrift brought the celebration down to earth for me.

“I would work this hard even without the odd refreshment combination of hummus and chocolate cake,” said Vandergrift. “But seriously, recognition is not expected, because who else recognizes other smarty pants walking around.”

Vandergrift didn’t seem to mind whether he was on the list or not and his flippant attitude bothered me a little bit, so I asked him how it made him feel to realize that he had made this great accomplishment.

“I didn’t get a shirt made or anything,” said Vandergrift.

His reply contrasted to comments by Vice President for Academic Affairs and Academic Dean Adrienne Israel.

“This is a time to celebrate achievement and excellence without having to apologize for it,” said Israel. “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.”

According to Israel, it seems that we should all go out and have t-shirts made.

But, I still don’t know that fulfilling dreams, realizing hopes and aspirations for the future, eating chocolate cake and hummus, or receiving superior grades will help my daughter pass chemistry or even motivate her to care.

Flippancy over failing – preoccupied with perfection.

We both have our problems and the dean’s list didn’t solve either one.