“He came out of nowhere-speeding out of control like a coked out George W. Bush in his earlier days,” said Max Carter, describing his traffic collision with Randy Doss that took place in front of the ‘integrity’ core values sign. Doss was speeding in his golf cart while on his way to a men’s soccer game when he hit Carter on his bicycle. Doss hit Carter so hard that the integrity sign that they crashed into fell over.

“It didn’t fall over immediately,” Carter said. “I was pinned up against the integrity sign for a few minutes; sandwiched between my bike, Randy’s cart, and the sign.”

Carter said that as soon as he escaped the crash and, having sustained no major injuries wiggled out of the sandwich, the integrity sign fell down.

Randy Doss blames himself for the crash and the subsequent loss of the integrity sign.

“I can’t lie, this is all my fault,” said Doss. “I was texting while driving.”

Doss admitted to sending an email from his blackberry while haphazardly speeding from New Garden to the stadium.

“I was going too fast because I was already late for the game, but at the same time, I felt like I really had to send that email,” said Doss.

Doss said that the email was to President Kent Chabotar. “I was confirming the time for our dinner reservation at Fleming’s Steakhouse that night.”

Doss publicly apologized both to the community, and to Carter, at an open forum about the dangers of texting and driving in Founders Gallery several days after the crash.

“While Doss’ apology seemed sincere at first, the fact that he was making jokes about integrity makes me think that Doss finds the whole situation kind of funny since Max wasn’t injured,” said senior Alyzza Callahan.

During the forum Doss joked that, “hey, at least we didn’t literally lose our integrity!”

Many students were confused about the joke.

Sophomore James Williamson felt that, as a result of the crash, the institution literally lost its integrity.

“These days, all that integrity is to this institution is a core value sign on a street with a bunch of other core value signs on it that prospective students see when they get here-we don’t have any real, tangible integrity here anymore,” said Williamson. “Our last little bit of integrity remained in that largely arbitrary sign, and now that it’s fallen, we’ve got to work on truly restoring integrity to this institution.”

In order to make up for his mistake, Doss is going to put up the new integrity sign himself.

“I’m going to really jazz up the new integrity sign before I put it back up,” Doss said. “I’ve been thinking about painting little footballs going over field goals on it-it’s a nice touch.”

When Max Carter heard about Randy’s re-design plans for the integrity sign, he wasn’t pleased.

“The footballs are unnecessary,” said Carter. “But a lot of folks here aren’t subtle about many things anymore.”

Doss understands that many community members don’t approve of the footballs, and he said that he is open to suggestions.

“I’m not going to paint any pot leaves on that thing, and rainbows are too colorful, but I think there’s plenty of appropriate designs and pictures that could help re-new our integrity