It has been said that all is fair in love and war. Polyamory makes all things fair in love and lust. Polyamory, which means, literally, more than one love, is a relatively unheard of type of relationship. It can manifest in many ways.

For some people, polyamory means an open relationship. Others might have a relationship where three or more people all date one another equally, in a literal love triangle with each partner’s commitment and role flowing into the next. Some people have a separate partner to fulfill the different roles of what one seeks in a relationship.

My friend Kate, who is in a polyamorous marriage, lives here in Greensboro with her husband and has a separate relationship with her boyfriend in Raleigh. Her boyfriend also has another girlfriend, who in turn has another boyfriend. Each of these relationships has something unique and special shared between the parties involved.

Greensboro has several communities with large polyamorous collectives. From my experience, the bondage scene, the fire dancing community, the furry subculture, and many neo-pagan groups in the city are rife with polyamorous couples.

While non-polyamorous individuals might perceive this lifestyle as cheating or unfaithfulness, polyamory actually encourages partners to be more open and honest with each other. There is no cheating. When a polyamorous relationship is performed correctly, nothing is hidden or lied about.

In my own experiences, polyamory serves many functions.

In long distance relationships, it removes the worry of something happening while I am away without my knowledge, because I can trust my partner to tell me anything that happens. In bondage lifestyles, it lets me seek out partners that fill the dominant or submissive role I am looking for. If I am in a heterosexual relationship, my partner and I can turn to others of the same sex to find what we may be missing from our heterosexual dynamic. If I am dating another person of my sex, I can still find the comforts of heterosexual unions.

Some people might feel polyamory is unethical or that it violates the normative understanding of love as something shared between only two people. However, polyamory removes the guilt, the jealousy, and the secrecy often found in monogamous pairings. Polyamory’s inclusive nature makes other people into possible additions to an already existing relationship, rather than threats to any relationships one might be in.

To be in a polyamorous relationship requires a level of trust that not everyone can give. If you are capable of giving that trust, I highly recommend it. You’ll experience a boundless amount of love to be freely shared with others.