You know those shots you have to get when you are born? I was born and raised in Boston, and I think they added a shot for me and all other Bostonian babies: ILTBRS – otherwise known as “I Love The Boston Red Sox.”The Sox play 162 games in a season. In 2009, the average Red Sox game lasted three hours and 12 minutes. That’s over 500 hours of my time. Of course, I don’t watch every game, especially since I don’t have the Boston cable setup.

But sitting in a chair for over three hours, watching pitch after pitch, foul ball after foul ball, out after out, can be worse than watching “Avatar” for the dialogue.

But therein lies the beauty of baseball. You sit in a chair, sip an iced tea, watch pitch after pitch, feel the Red Sox drain your spring day happiness as they give up runs over a two and a half-hour period. They go down 5-3, and then, in the late innings, when you are cursing your upbringing, they spark a comeback. David “Big Papi” Ortiz caps off the comeback with a bomb of a home run into an ocean of ecstatic Bostonians. That crack of a home run off a wooden bat is more satisfying than a midday nap.

And that’s how baseball tortures you. You’ll sit there and feel your blood curdle as the Red Sox slowly go down 5-3. It’s the bottom of the ninth inning and the Sox have one out left or the game is over. They load up the bases so a hit could tie or even win the game. You rise to your feet even though you are alone in your gray-walled dorm room on a gorgeous spring night. Suddenly it hits you that your entire day hinges on whether the Sox win the game – you didn’t plan your day like this. Then David Ortiz swings and misses for strike three.

I’ve tried everything when it comes to baseball. I’ve tried quitting, but that proves impossible again and again – remember the shot Boston gave me? I’ve tried watching only when I know the game is close or the Sox are winning, but that leads to either minimal satisfaction (apparently you need to be tortured by baseball for it to be rewarding), or a feeling of guilt if they lose. I feel the Sox lost because I started watching (baseball is superstitious by nature).

The Red Sox went 86 years without winning a World Series until 2004. Some Bostonians never saw them win a title until the year they died. Imagine that satisfaction. Some people went through what I go through, on a daily basis and weren’t fortunate enough to see the Sox ever win a World Series. I still think if they read this article, they’d roll over in their graves. That’s enough to keep me watching . I guess.