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The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

The student news site of Guilford College

The Guilfordian

Who needs trees when you can put up a perfectly paved parking lot?

Improve Guilford and cut down the trees

Miles Kirkpatrick, Opinion Editor March 31, 2023

Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. A blemish. A stain. A grotesque, endemic infestation. Am...

A deadly new drink at Rachel’s Rose Cottage led to the demise of one of The Guilfordian’s beloved staff members. This photo was taken by the people who found Maria’s body.

Be careful what you drink

Maria Jose Guerrero Hernandez, Staff Writer March 31, 2023

Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. Welcome to the Cottage’s Coffee column! This...

This image from the Hunter-Gathering 250 textbook illustrates fire-making, one of the most essential skills students will learn in the class.

Hunter-gatherer course turns heads and stomachs

Jonathan Campbell, News Editor March 31, 2023

Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. In advance of the 2023-24 school year, Guilford...

I guess it's time for an apology.

It’s time to come clean

Sarah Smiley, Social Justice Editor March 31, 2023

Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. After spending some time in my remote, luxurious...

If Goofy can be transformed into Robin Hood, as depicted here by an Argentine (we think) artist, then why not an ascension to the Office of the President at Guilford?

What a total goof!

Taylor Ferguson, Staff Writer March 31, 2023

Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact. In a shocking upset, it seems as though fictional...

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