The women in my history have been strange to say the least. Being a comedian has many drawbacks, and a major one is the kind of women you meet in dark New York City comedy clubs.
Most of them would approach me after seeing me perform and want to meet afterwards to talk. Things would escalate and eventually, we would begin to date. But those never ended well. Let’s just say that women who go after comedians, in my experience, are a little crazy.
Being with them was not healthy in the slightest. There were a couple of times when misunderstandings occurred and I would have to literally run from their apartments into busy Manhattan streets dodging cabs and bicyclists to avoid a fate I wouldn’t wish on my enemy. To be honest, I needed a change from that beleaguered existence, and coming to Guilford was the best thing that could have happened.
After leaving New York, I noticed the difference in women immediately. The girls here were beautiful, intelligent and had something that I couldn’t put my finger on at first. Maybe it was the fact that women here care more about saving the world than any group of college girls I’ve ever met.
Being that this is a small school, it didn’t make sense for me to ask girls out for several reasons. The major one — besides the tremendous fear of rejection that I and most other men have — is that if I am rejected here, chances are I will see her almost everywhere I go, reminding me how much of a failure I am. The fear was crippling, and kept me out of a major part of my college experience when I first got here.
I kept saying to myself that the women here were out of my league. They were just as smart as I was, way more caring than I could ever be and more classy than any woman I had ever dated in my life. But I did not want to give up. I had to conquer this fear of rejection so I set out on a journey. That journey was to ask a girl out, no matter the consequences, and take what happened, positive or negative.
It began with a girl in Globalization class. She was a beautiful Marxist, but I was pretty sure she hated me. Our politics clashed and she would often yell at me. But, she was the one that I had to ask out. There were no other girls I cared about. We worked at the same place and waited for the same ride. Tuesday afternoon was my one chance because we were both alone before the ride showed up.
We waited in silence, my heart beating a million miles a minute. Then I started talking, about what I don’t remember, and the mood was lifting. We were both laughing, and I went for it. I asked her out, stunning her into an abrupt silence. That silence lasted a while, as she pondered me for some time. To my surprise, she said yes, totally shocking me.
She has since transferred to another school and I have pursued other women here, being both rejected and accepted. The rejections have been soul crushing, the acceptances soul enlightening, but what has been most important, is the conquering of that fear.
The fear kept me sequestered in my mind, convinced that I wasn’t worthy of the brilliant and beautiful women who exist at this school. But ever since I beat that fear, I have yet to run out of anyone’s apartment into oncoming cars and bicyclists wondering whether I was wasting my life or making the wrong choices.
