*Disclaimer: This article is from an April Fool’s issue*
This week, the administration this week released a change in the student dress code policy. Under the new policy, members of the athletics department will be required to wear a collared shirt and proper slacks both before and after games.
According to the administration, those caught not following the new rule will be suspended for the game on the first offense, the next three games for a repeat offense and will be dismissed from the team for the season on a third offense.
“The reason why we are doing this is to promote Quakerism to the community,” explained President Kent Chabotar. “Recently I’ve seen too many student athletes wearing shirts with no sleeves and ripped from where the sleeves should be down to their hips to athletic events. This style of dress reflects poorly on our school, and goes against our Quaker teachings of dressing modestly and properly for such events.”
The news of the change has quickly been challenged by the student athletes, citing that the student handbook clearly defines what is and is not dress code and how their style of dress fits within said defined terms.
Some are even claiming that the school is specifically targeting the athletic department.
“Of course we are specifically targeting athletics,” said Athletic Director Tom Palombo “They are the students that get seen the most. People from our community and from other colleges come out to see [the athletes] play. It would reflect better on the college if they were to wear formal clothing; it makes Guilford College seems more prestigious.”
Though not all of the athletes are upset about the change, in fact, there are a few who fully support it.
For example, sophomore football player Tim Spiegel has voiced his support for the change and has even taken it a step further.
“As soon as I heard about the change I went out and bought a proper suit; tie, blazer and everything,” said Spiegel. “I figure that if the school really wants to get us to change what we are wearing, then I’m gonna go all out for it. I even got a top hat and cane to wear for home matches.”
As for what athletes now have to wear, the new dress code states that no shorts, no muscle shirts, short sleeve shirts or clothes with any insignia or expressive information on them will be allowed into any sports activities.
“Student’s are still allowed and are encouraged to wear whatever they would like, just not during these public events,” said Chabotar. “Especially with the new stadium being built. If it was up to me, I would make it so any student going to see a sporting event had to follow the dress code.”
Students, both in the athletic and art departments, have started rallying together outside of Chabotar’s house, shouting that the new rule is a violation of their rights. Though some have decided to take more ‘drastic’ measures and have begun streaking across campus in protest of the new policy.
“This is just another example of the administration trying to make us into a cookie-cutter school,” said senior streaker Faye Sagan. “First it was getting rid of bonfires, then housing, now they are trying to make us wear conforming clothing. Next they will be telling us that we need to shave, wash and go to classes.”
Though some members of the administration insist that the new change is just for the athletics department and is only for the members to appear presentable in public places, there have been a few comments made about possible changes to the student dress code if the demonstrations continue.
“We are not trying to upset the students,” said Trustee Mary Loto. “But if the students continue to act as they are, we will have no choice but to enforce a stricter dress code. I’m thinking something along the lines of pinstripes…”
