![The newest addition to the cafeteria dessert menu is Jell-O. Students should not worry about moving gelatinous substances.](https://www.guilfordian.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Flubber.jpg)
Jell-O is the new orange, green, purple, red…
Aarushi Ahuja, Food Critic
• April 1, 2017
![Addy Allred ’16 performs in the newest American Idol season this past Monday, March 28, 2017, in Los Angeles, California. Allred’s mixtape is expected to drop the summer of 2020.](https://www.guilfordian.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/AmericanIdol-900x525.jpg)
American Idol, college edition, comes to Guilford
Precious Adisa, Contributing Writer
• April 1, 2017
![Georgia, 20, Libra. She is a med school student who is looking for a partner who eats as much as she does (@georgialorena).](https://www.guilfordian.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Brazillian-1-724x900.jpg)
Hot Brazilians better choice for romantic life partners, superior to American lovers
Beatriz Caldas, Brazilian Matchmaker
• April 1, 2017
Letter to the Editor
Your friendly neighborhood conservative
• April 1, 2017
Humanities students all do drugs, y’all
Maksym Kosachevskyy, The Sober Friend
• April 1, 2017
![Goose Springstein violently interviews Kurt Vonnegoose about the humans that walk around Guilford campus. The student/goose divide has gotten worse since the College was built back in 1837. // Photo by Goose Goosey Jr.](https://www.guilfordian.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Geese-900x568.jpg)
Hissssss honk, honk hiss, honk-hooooonk
Alayna Bradley, Resident Goose
• April 1, 2017
PLOT TWIST: Pres Fernandes now supports Trump
Ian Penny, Secret Russian Mole
• April 1, 2017
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