Disclaimer: This story is a part of our April Fool’s edition, The Goofordian. This story was created by Guilfordian staff and is not based in fact.

CAN YOU GUESS ‘EM ALL?

1.“I hate when people email you and ask ‘You wanna know something?’” Of course, but why are u torturing me by spreading this to more than 1 email.”

2. “Those waffles taste like porn stores.”

3. “I’m sick of Ghosts. ‘Ooo I’m scary.’ Prove it then.”

4.“If I was a shorty, I would love it if my parents went to PHUKET for vacay so I could keep pronouncing it wrong on purpose in front of them.”

5. “Of course the quiz question is not in the book.”

6. “I love everybody … only thing I don’t like is taxes … me and taxes gone fight.”

7. “Hark, the herald angels sing, shop at Jared’s and buy some bling.”

8. “We need scientists and top world designers to directly affect governments.”

9. “In Germany you’re gonna eat pretzels the size of thigh-masters.”

10. “I hate when I’m on a flight and I wake up with a water bottle next 2 me like oh great now I gotta be responsible for this water bottle.”

Answer Key

1. Kanye, 2. Fhalyshia Orians, 3. Lyes Benarbane, 4. K-West, 5.Chafic Bou-Saba, 6. North West Sr.,

7. Max Carter, 8. Mr. Kardashian, 9. Mylène Dressler, 10. Yeezus